Friday, March 4, 2016

The Five Love Languages (February's Meeting)

It seemed only natural that a few days after Valentine's Day we talked about love. Not the mushy, goo-goo eyes kind of love, but more about ways you can keep your love tank full. Parents are extremely busy these days, and taking care of little ones often leaves little time to be adults and to remember why it is that you fell in love. The thing is, everyone loves differently, and that's where the 5 Love Languages comes into play.

The Five Love Languages:

Gary Chapman created the concept of the 5 Love Languages, and it's taken off by storm, mostly because of how accurate it is. The five love languages are:
  1. Words of Affirmation
  2. Quality Time
  3. Receiving Gifts
  4. Acts of Service
  5. Physical Touch
You may look at that list and know immediately where you or your partner land, but just in case it's all a little bit foggy, here's a broken down version of each love language:

Words of Affirmation
Actions don't always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, "I love you," are important – hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving.

Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, "I love you," like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Quality Time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.

Receiving Gifts
Don't mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous – so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly.

Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an "Acts of Service" person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: "Let me do that for you." Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don't matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.

Physical Touch
This language isn't all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face – they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Physical touch fosters a sense of security and belonging in any relationship.

Take the Quiz and Discover YOUR Love Language!

And here's the best part: there's a quiz you can take that will tell you what your love languages are. It's fast and easy to take, and once your partner takes it too, that will hopefully help both of you to understand each other better. This isn't a way to fix things in your marriage, but it is a way to get back to the basics and help you connect with your husband more.

We also watched these fun videos during the meeting—it was a fun way to introduce the love languages, and it was especially useful if you're more of a visual learner! 


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